I am going to open up here and say that this is something I am struggling to learn and embrace.
Some peeps don’t like when others open up with inner self broadcasting on social media. So if you don’t then stop reading!!
I have a big issue with body image and being self conscious about how I look. And I think it is time that I need to really start working hard and doing something about it. I came crashing down this week. Physically, mentally and emotionally. To coin a term from my beautiful friend Amy, some possible spirit wanderings occurred!
My body gave up due to physical stress from not resting enough, not eating enough (and Easter overload) and my body not tolerating the stress is under and being severely locked up and out of alignment from my ongoing orthodontic treatment. Wreaking havoc on me really. On top of this normal life’s pressures like work, finances were taking their toll.
As a result my mind was giving up because I was feeling helpless, worthless, weak and stupid. I became an emotional floodgate (gates still aren’t not fully open yet though…) because I have gone years blocking out, harbouring and not clearing out emotions, which I continue to do. Which brings things back to the physical body again, because the body is a warehouse of organs that will hold onto emotions that we have not properly cleansed and detoxified from ourselves. This essential riddles the body with physical pain.
So what was I experiencing:
- Severe exhaustion and lack of energy
- Starting to rely on needing chocolate and justifying the need for more caffeine (even though I have only 1-2 a week)
- Migraine symptoms (Severe headaches, Blurred vision, Nausea, loss of balance)
- Delays in reactions
- Not coping and everything seemed demanding, even a text message
- Feeling like I needed to burst into tears all day
And what helped me?
- I gave in to myself and rested more than I would usually.
- Making a phone call and talking to someone rather than just dealing on my own and isolating myself
- Took a day off work
- Getting myself back in tune with my hippy spiritual side that I had neglected
- Letting go (thoughts, judgements)
- Went to the chiro to get adjusted (and literally got my life back for a day!!)
I know this is a bit of a ramble but I guess it is part of me allowing myself to be vulnerable and work on parts of myself that are holding me back. It is scaring to open up about your private life, but I hope that in doing so other people will realise that they are not alone....